Do these photos scream ‘INSECURE GIRL’? No, they probably scream ‘bloody narcissist’. You certainly wouldn't look at these photos believe that I have battled with crippling insecurity and the dangerously and devastatingly incorrect belief that my aesthetic was somehow intrinsically linked to my value.
[Spoiler alert - it's not!]
Fun fact - I'm actually one of the 'OG' bloggers. It's true, I've had this little space on the web since 2009 [my first post & you MAY recognise some of these people!!] ] and I'm happy to say I've been following so many girls I love succeed and fucking own it. You might well remember me as the girl who occasionally sparked controversy, tweeted a ridiculous amount or had the 'spider eyelashes' - but most likely you vaguely remember me as the one that’s consistently inconsistent; appearing then disappearing sporadically, seemingly without any explanation or pattern.
But why?
It destroyed my soul, crushed my spirit and broke my heart that the thing I loved the most - writing and creating - was ruined, simply because I didn't think I was pretty enough, that my photos were good enough and that other girls had more likes, more followers, healthier hair, perkier bums, fancier clothes, nicer cars, better skin. My focus on vanity metrics consumed me at the very same speed I was consuming constant curated content. Comparison truly is the thief of joy and the tentacles of self-doubt and low self-esteem wrapped themselves around me and spread like poison as I sat slumped in bed, Instagram open, as the artificial light from my iPhone screen bombarded me with artificial images of perfect girls and perfect lives.
But why?
It destroyed my soul, crushed my spirit and broke my heart that the thing I loved the most - writing and creating - was ruined, simply because I didn't think I was pretty enough, that my photos were good enough and that other girls had more likes, more followers, healthier hair, perkier bums, fancier clothes, nicer cars, better skin. My focus on vanity metrics consumed me at the very same speed I was consuming constant curated content. Comparison truly is the thief of joy and the tentacles of self-doubt and low self-esteem wrapped themselves around me and spread like poison as I sat slumped in bed, Instagram open, as the artificial light from my iPhone screen bombarded me with artificial images of perfect girls and perfect lives.
So, in the end, I just gave up.
Blogging has changed so much from when I started and whilst I think we all logically understand that social media and blog photos are not depicting anyone’s reality and are simply a highlight reel; what we are seeing and subjected to 24/7 are the perfectly posed golden ‘gram’ shots that are then filtered, adjusted, edited, vsco’d, bokeh’d, textured, mexture'd, huji’d and whatever-fucking-else’d often until it in no way, shape or form even vaguely resembles what a human being, a sky or a building actually looks like. But, you know what I’ve FINALLY realised?
You will never look like the girls on Instagram.
The girls on Instagram don't even look like the girls on Instagram.
I think if we accept that, at least for the foreseeable future, Instagram is an advertorial. It is advertising - plain and simple. And I don’t even mean that in the literal sense of the multitude of paid partnerships I see every day (some are awesome and some are awful. so it goes).
The best analogy I can find to describe how I feel about everything is this...
Okay, so, yes, A maccas burger CAN indeed look like that - but every single one of us knows that they bloody don’t look like that in reality. But it's all about substance over appearance, right!? Photoshoot-ready or not, we’re/it’s still fucking delicious (okay so comparing people to food has got a liiiiiittle bit weird and also let's not get into the specifics regarding the healthiness etc etc of a mcdonald's because that's a whole 'nother rabbit hole .... but I’m hoping the point I'm attempting to make does a little wave and sort of makes itself known).
When it comes to our content, right now,
We are all just McDonald's Burgers at a photoshoot.
And, you know what? As long as we keep reminding ourselves of that but at the same time we keep pushing forward with the dialogues around the portrayal of women in the media and WHY we feel the need to filter and edit our content and WHY we feel the need conform to a ridiculous societal ‘norm’ then I think I’ll continue to tentatively dip my toe back in the proverbial instagram and blogging waters and hope that someday soon we can dial it back and just enjoy and celebrate a burger for just being a bloody delicious burger.
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| one of the ladies who has managed to blend substance and style - befrassy 'a few small habits in self-love' - read her blog and follow her. she is ah-may-zing. |